


Longing for Love

by spacedragonarmada



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Boys Kissing, Christmas, Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 05:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13000872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedragonarmada/pseuds/spacedragonarmada
Summary: Kuroko doesn't know when it started, but at some point in time he'd developed a kind of crush on one Akashi Seijuro .Momoi doesn't know when she stopped wanting to be with Kuroko, and instead started wanting to see Kuroko get his happily ever after with Akashi.





	Longing for Love

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd  
> I was feeling sad so I wrote some angst? Happy Christmas lmao.

Kuroko was unsure of when it started, but at some point in time he'd developed a kind of crush on one Akashi Seijuro and it both helped and hindered him the way they got along and spent time in each other's presence during training and on the court. 

When they'd moved apart, as had all the generation of miracles at the time, Kuroko wondered if his crush would eventually waver but alas it still remained. 

Kuroko was the type of person to be blunt about his opinions but this crush was arguably the one thing he couldn't bring himself to be blunt about. In a way he was kind of glad. Akashi deserved better than him and he was still unsure as to whether the redhead would even approve of his advances as a gay man. In saying that Akashi and the rest of his friends were incredibly accepting and he wondered if that made it better or worse if he chose to come out about his sexuality. 

He decided to keep it hidden. 

The years slowly rolled by and after the winter cup they began to see each other more often. Exchange a playful flirt here and there. It confused the blue haired male a lot as to what he should feel about this. 

Then the inevitable happened. Kuroko discovered Akashi had a girlfriend and it felt like his heart had been torn in two. The crush he thought was finally starting to go away coming back full force as he lingering hope of something was snatched from his grasp. 

He tried not to dwell on 'what ifs.' Their friend group was reaching the point when they were hooking up, exploring, dating. Kuroko just couldn't bring himself to do it. He tried dating momoi when she asked him again, and he was good to her. But the pink haired girl was far too intelligent and saw right through him, saw the signs he was unhappy and offered to break it off, finding herself too not as attached as she once thought she was. 

Kuroko had decided to confide in her, she deserved that much and more than what he could give her and she was accepting, as Kuroko had expected. Her cheery mood and determination to help Kuroko find his own love made him feel a bit less guilty over their arrangement. 

While he hadn't told her specifically /who/ he had a maddening crush on, he had little doubt Momoi would figure it out soon enough. That day may as well have been the day she brought up casually that Akashi had broken it off with his current partner. 

While his expression remained like stone, the light in his eyes was blinding. Hope welling in his chest at the thought he might just get a second chance. 

But like before his nerves won out and he could never quite bring himself to confess. He'd grown to fear what would happen now if he did. He way Akashi looked at him, the way he included him, the secrets he shared, the closeness he felt in his presence both literally and emotionally. He wondered if confessing would break that reality. Would Akashi turn him down, politely tell him that that's not what he thought of the other, apologise for leading him on? Kuroko didn't want that. 

Once more he remained silent, and once more Akashi found a new partner. 

If Momoi hadn't put it together before she did then, Kuroko's mood dropped rapidly during the gathering despite trying his best not to let it get to him. 

She'd pulled him aside, but not before noticing that Akashi had noticed it too, but saved that observation for a different time as she asked the question she already knew the answer to, "It's Akashi-kun, isn't it?" 

A weight seemed to be lifted from his chest, finally telling someone the pain that had been hounding him for years. While his expression remained firm, his eyes looked sad, as his body trembled slightly. 

Momoi didn't know what to say to make things better, didn't know what to do with this information she'd been given. Kuroko had told her these feelings were something he didn't know how to control, feelings he thought would just go away over time, but they never did, and they always hurt. 

Momoi promised to keep it a secret as she went back to the party. Brushing off a worried Aomine and Akashi too that Kuroko was feeling ill and needed rest. Neither male was overly convinced, but in the face of their friend they decided not to push any further. Although none looked more worried than Akashi. 

Kuroko rarely cried. More often than not it had been a result of happiness. Winning the winter cup, beating jabberwock alongside the dream team, seeing Kagami off to chase his dream. It was nothing short of agony then to see the slightly taller male break over these uncontrollable emotions towards Akashi. He still called it a crush, but Momoi could see it was love. 

Perhaps it was against her better judgement to seek out Akashi. To scout and try to determine the best way to get Kuroko to confess and give him peace or finally some closure. 

She had discovered then that the redhead had only accepted the first girlfriend at his father's insistence on trying, and the second because he figured maybe a relationship would be better on his own terms. The first he hadn't gotten along with and the second had only been after his wealth. He'd broken up with both of them. 

As Momoi had been the glue for them before, next to Kuroko, she acted as such now too. Akashi confided in Momoi he did not feel as he should towards women, but the same could be said for most male's he'd come across too. 

Momoi had presented the idea that perhaps he needed an attachment before he wanted a relationship and Akashi had implied that might as well be the case. 

She couldn't tell if it were a trick of the light but the look in Akashi's eyes seemed to imply he was thinking about someone in particular when assessing the facts. She couldn't help but wonder if these feelings might be towards Kuroko. 

In the end she decided not to inform Kuroko about Akashi's relationship status immediately, or anyone for that matter. Akashi had been legitimately hurt, but not entirely surprised, that someone had wanted him for such trivial means. The wound was still fresh, letting their friends know would only toss salt into the wound. 

It wasn't much longer before the group found themselves in each other's company again. Kuroko had been doing better, he hadn't quite healed, but was well enough to spend time with everyone and separate his emotions enough to simply enjoy the company. 

Unsurprisingly Kuroko still gravitated towards Akashi much like Akashi always did in return. 

Momoi couldn't help but notice how much the two suited each other. How their actions were always so genuine and how they took an interest in each other's lives. It sure as hell didn't escape he pink haired female's notice the way Akashi stole glances at Kuroko whenever he wasn't looking. In a way, she wondered how she didn't notice it sooner. The more she thought about it and how they acted, he more she came to realise they had barely changed since their Teiko days. 

When did she start wanting Kuroko to get his happily ever after with Akashi? 

As the night went on and the Secret Santa gifts were shared under the glow of a massive Christmas tree, drinks were skewed across the table in a haphazard mess. Kuroko wasn't fond of alcohol himself, but he couldn't deny there was a kind of temptation to have a sip of the beverage Akashi had been sipping throughout the night. 

Of course Akashi had noticed the smaller male eyeing up his drink and offered his glass to the other whom hesitantly took it in hand. 

Akashi had laughed and promised to take care of him if he started to feel weird. It would be a lie to say Kuroko wasn't opposed to the idea of Akashi taking advantage of him. 

Willing down those traitorous thoughts that threatened to bring up unnecessary emotions, kuroko decided to take a sip. Much to his surprise the drink wasn't terrible, in fact he quite enjoyed the taste, wordlessly claiming it for himself as Akashi chuckled and warned him to slow down, taking the glass back before the blue haired male could finish. 

Although the faint flush on his face had more to do with the realization drink sharing was an indirect kiss at first, as it turned out Kuroko was a bigger lightweight than either of them had thought. As they would soon discover, drinking was the worst think Kuroko could have done in that moment. 

"I hate it." Kuroko announces and Akashi, who had been quietly enjoying the way kuroko nuzzled against him, couldn't help but knit his eyebrows together in a mix of worry and confusion. 

"...Tetsuya?" 

"Why can't I get over you." He continues with the faintest slur to his speech. "It's not fair, no one should be that perfect and attractive. Akashi-kun is out of my league why can't I just realise that already and stop these feelings for you?" 

Kuroko seemed to be talking to himself more than the redhead which was in some ways a good thing, for Akashi knew not how he was supposed to respond to this. Having had a couple drinks himself he wasn't in his usual state of mind to say anything that would lead to regret later. 

"Tetsuya is drunk." He says plainly, and obviously, but Kuroko seems to ignore it. 

"Why won't they go away." He repeats and his voice begins to quiver in its buzzed slur. Akashi can almost feel the aura of emotion radiating from him as he tries his best to get the words out. "You get a partner, and I feel like I'm being torn apart, and just when I accept the inevitable, you break up with them. I'm clinging to some thread of hope you will notice me. Why can't I just be content with be in your friend?" 

Akashi's heart rate quickened uncomfortably, his attention shifting to try and calm the other male down. Holding him tightly in his arms and avoiding the glances of Aomine from across the room. 

As Kuroko's breathing came back in check, Akashi loosened his grip enough to look kuroko in the eye. Kuroko however, was the first to speak, in a quiet, barely audible tone. 

"Akashi-kun, please tell me there's nothing between us so I can stop fantasizing about ever being with you." 

Baffled by the question phrased more like a desperate request, Akashi found himself at a loss of how he was supposed to reply. While it was true he felt /something/ towards the blue haired male, he did not know what that something was. Was it love? He couldn't be sure, at least not with such an confession dumped on him only a few weeks after his last break up. He needed more time to discover his standpoint on the situation. 

For kuroko, however, the silent hesitation was enough for him to come to his own conclusion. 

His spirit sank, and he tried his best not to let the tears welling in his eyes drip down his cheeks as he smiled so sadly at Akashi. 

"I knew it..." He spoke softly before standing, and bowing with a slight unsteady wobble. "Sorry for wasting your time, Akashi-kun." 

By this time, every fibre in Kuroko's body begged him to slip away from the party and stumble on home. But in his current state he knew that would be bad, so instead he wandered up to the second floor guest room and hid himself inside to sober, and break. 

The haze starting to fade with the reality of what this meant. Years of longing for the unobtainable, and now he'd embarrassed himself in front of his crush in the most pathetic of ways. He should have kept to his no drinking unspoken oath it would have saved him the heartbreak. 

A knock came at the door and Kuroko wondered how easily he could feign sleep to turn away whoever wished to disturb his silence. 

The door creaked open and heavy footsteps made their way towards the bed. Much too heavy to be either Momoi's or Akashi's, too clumsy to be Midorima's or Kise's, too light to be Murasakibara's... it had to be Aomine. 

An undignified grunt of effort confirmed it was indeed Aomine who'd come to see him, yet still Kuroko leaned towards feigning sleep. He was in no mood to entertain nor explain his actions. 

"Oi Tetsu, what did Akashi do to hurt you? Do you want me to go punch him in the face?" He said with all manner of seriousness. Kuroko was confident Momoi hadn't divulged his situation and for that he couldn't help but smile a little at how protective his friend was. 

So he decided to speak. 

"Punching Akashi-kun won't fix the situation, Aomine-kun." 

"Then what will?" The taller male questions while munching on a bowl of shortbread Murasakibara had made specially for their Christmas party. He'd taken quite a liking the baked goods and sweets, and had been working part time at a cake stall for little over a year now. He seemed happy, especially on the days he was allowed to experiment with the mixtures to create 'the next best thing.' 

"I wish I knew..." Kuroko finally admits, bringing the mood back down on himself as he remembered reality. "Maybe then it would stop hurting so much." 

"Tetsu if your pain had a face I would punch it." 

"Aomine-kun I cannot tell if you're drunk or sober saying that." 

"Does it matter?" Aomine replies bluntly before adding, "You haven't answered my question. What did Akashi do to you to make you cry?" 

"I..." Kuroko began, cursing under breath that his crying had made it into his voice. "I've had a crush on him..." He finally admits and like with Momoi, it felt good to get it out. "For years now." 

"Shit, Tetsu, that's rough." 

Kuroko buried his face in his pillow, distraught at how pathetic he felt confessing in such a way, but more so given the redhead (at least in his mind) was still currently dating girlfriend number two. 

With a bit of an awkward laugh, Aomine was the one to finally break it to the smaller male that Akashi had broken up with that girlfriend, coming to find out only recently when he'd jokingly asked how big her breasts were. 

Kuroko’s mood changed, not to the usual crushing feeling he got in his chest at the thread of hope being dangle just out of his reach again, but from sadness to rage. Akashi didn't deserve someone who treated him so casually. 

Before he could act on some dumb impulse, Aomine talked him down. 

"Tetsu, you're kinda drunk, and Akashi's been drinking too. Don't you think that's a little unfair to ask an answer in your current states?" 

Kuroko settled down after that, he didn't want to see Akashi just yet. 

"Go to sleep and sober the hell up. You can deal with prince charming in the morning." Aomine said, gently slapping the smaller boys thigh beneath the sheets before using him as leverage to hoist himself back into standing. His bowl of biscuits in need of restocking. 

Kuroko didn't need to be told twice. His eyelids already heavy and mental exhaustion wracking his body, he soon succumbed to the realm of sleep. Away from the party, away from Akashi, away from his emotions. 

\----- 

Morning came and Kuroko was grateful the headache was minimal. He was the first to sleep and the second to rise in the household of many, all of his friends having planned to stay and sober up before attempting trips home. 

Walking into the kitchen to make some breakfast, he was not surprised to see a certian redhead had risen before him. If he was being honest however, it looked like he'd barely slept. 

"Good morning, Tetsuya. I was hoping to see you. I want to discuss last night." 

For the first time since their early days in Teiko, Kuroko felt intimidated by Akashi's presence. Carefully following the other as he rose from his chair and gestured him to come over. 

What would this mean for them now? Kuroko felt a wave of nausea wash over him in fear of what Akashi might say. What this would do to their friendship. He braced himself for the worst, and hoped Akashi would be gentle in turning him down. 

"Are you mad?" Kuroko asks, wishing to avoid the other's piercing, unreadable gaze but finding himself self incapable. 

"I was," He confesses with a hum that reaffirmed the notion was indeed past tense. "But not for the way you think. I was mad that you dropped such a confession and expected my immediate response, no, I was mad you didn't let me respond. Will you wait for my answer?" 

"I do not expect an answer, Akashi-kun, I do not wish this to break the friendship I have with you, although it feels unavoidable now." 

"Tetsuya," Akashi sighs in the familiar way he did in Teiko whenever Kuroko put himself down or his abilities to keep up with the others. It was a tone that soothed his soul. "I ask you trust me and take a step back." 

Kuroko frowned at the request. His eyes searching Akashi's own for some sort of hint as to what he intended but Akashi remained strong. A simple smile playing on his lips as kuroko heeded the request and took a step back. 

In an instant fee gap between them was closed, and Akashi's lips were on his own. Eyes wide in disbelief, Kuroko thought he must still be dreaming. But the ache in his chest and the relief in his body told him otherwise. Tears ran down his cheeks as he pressed back into this kiss. Eyes shut and a red blush across his features, savouring the moment until Akashi finally pulled back. 

'What was that?' Was the question that hung on Kuroko's lips but never seemed to fall. But Akashi could predict his thoughts and looked up at the bunches of mistletoe Kise had insisted on hanging in a a bid to try and smooch everyone in the room. 

As their gaze returned to each other, Akashi rested his forehead against Kuroko's and finally said, 

"This is my answer, Tetsuya."

**Author's Note:**

> @spacedragonarmada.tumblr


End file.
